The Art of Letter Writing

My mother was a letter writer.  I say was because even though she is still with me, she can no longer use her hands for writing.  She wrote all the way up to the time she couldn’t.  Computers were not her thing, so all of her correspondence was done by hand.

She had cards for every occasion and pretty blank cards for her own words.  Each written note was a treasure.  Not because the words were poetic, but because the words were full of kindness. 

If you sent my mom a card or letter, you would receive one in return.  She kept a list of each letter she wrote, the date and who received it.  It wasn’t a list on a pad or in a notebook, but it was a stack of sticky notes, continuing with one on top of the other.

After her most recent move, I helped her unpack and arrange her room.  Her ‘room’ is a place that is hers and holds her memories and what she feels is most precious to her.  She displays family photos, knick-knacks from a lifetime of collecting and things that have no meaning to anyone but her.  Among her things, I came across a large collection of blank cards and envelopes, waiting to be used, but those that will not be used by her hand.  I also found stacks of her sticky note lists, lists dating back over 25 years.  There were names of family and friends, my name and my children included.

My mom has many treasures that she has not wanted to part with, treasures that keep her memories alive.  And now I have treasures, notes written by her hand and my name on a list. 

The Best Chocolate Cake EVER!

 

 

After I got married, I discovered that my husband had a thing about chocolate cake.  He didn’t like to eat it often; once a year on his birthday was enough.  He liked chocolate cake with chocolate icing.  Nothing fancy… no coffee as an ingredient, no coconut, just plain chocolate cake.  I experimented with a few recipes before I landed on the right one.  I found the recipe in a magazine.  That shows how long I have been using it.  With the internet, who clips recipes out of magazines any longer?

 

 

Hershey’s “Perfectly Chocolate” Chocolate Cake

 

2 cups sugar

1¾ cups all-purpose flour

¾ cup Hershey’s cocoa

1½ teaspoon baking powder

1½ teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

2 eggs

1 cup milk

½ cup vegetable oil

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 cup boiling water

 

Heat over to 350°.

 

Combine dry ingredients in large bowl.

 

Add eggs, milk, oil and vanilla.

  

Beat for 2 minutes on medium speed.

 

Stir in boiling water.  (Batter will be thin.)

 

 

Pour into 2 9” round greased and floured pans.  (See hint below.)

 

Bake 30-35 minutes.

 

Cool 10 minutes.

 

Remove from pans to wire rack.

 

Cool completely.

 

Frost.

 

 

Hershey’s “Perfectly Chocolate” Chocolate Frosting

 

1 stick (½ cup) butter or margarine

2/3 cup Hershey’s cocoa

3 cups powered sugar

1/3 cup milk

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Melt butter.

 

Stir in cocoa.

 

Alternately add powered sugar and milk, beating on medium speed to spreading consistency.

 

Add more milk, if needed.

 

Add vanilla.

 

 

Tips

 

To prevent the bottom from sticking, I add another step to the greased and floured pan.  After preparing the pan, cut a piece of wax paper to fit into the bottom of the pan.  Grease and flour the wax paper.  It can be a bit tricky when tapping out the extra flour, but the additional step is worth it.

 

 

 

 

 





Enchilada Casserole

A great meal for parents and kids on the go.  Put it in a slow cooker in the morning, into the oven in the afternoon, then it’s ready when you return from wherever you went.

2 lbs pork shoulder steak

1 onion-chopped

1 small can chopped green chilies

1 teaspoon garlic powder

1 20-oz can enchilada sauce 

4 flour tortilla shells

1 16-oz can refried beans

1 cup grated cheddar cheese 

Add first five ingredients to slow cooker.  Stir.  Cook on high for approximately 5 hours, or until meat falls off the bone.  Pull meat apart into small pieces.

In a 2-quart casserole dish, layer, starting with meat sauce, then tortilla (tear into 3 to 4 pieces to fit dish), beans, cheese.  After third layer of tortilla, finish with meat sauce and cheese.

Bake at 350° for 1 hour.  Let rest for 10 minutes before serving. 

Tip:  Meat can be cooked frozen; add cooking time.



Oma's Dutch Pound Cake

I can count on both hands the number of times I’ve seen my grandmother on my mother’s side.  My Oma Eeltink lived in Holland and I was in America.  I can recall on one of her few visits to the states, I was in the kitchen mixing dough for chocolate chip cookies.  She came up behind me and exclaimed, “Je moet dat niet doen!”  Roughly translated, “You must not do that!”  I was tapping a measuring spoon on the side of the bowl.  She explained that hitting the bowl would flatten the dough.  I don’t know if that’s true, but to this day, I still don’t do it.  Oma’s recipe for Dutch Pound Cake is a bit different and the measurements are not exact.  Even so, the part that holds true is…don’t tap the bowl.  Smaakt lekker!

2 sticks butter

1 cup sugar
4 eggs
Little vanilla
1½ cup flour
½ cup (almost) corn starch

Mix butter and sugar.  Add eggs, one at a time.  Mix.  Add rest of ingredients.  Mix. Pour batter into greased and floured loaf pan.  Bake at 250° for 1½ - 2 hours.

Girls often bully without throwing punch (The Spokesman-Review)

Confidence best way to fight emotional abuse
Lisa Paolino
May 28, 2007

When I was in the sixth grade, the hip girls would come around and pull on a group of girl's bra straps to see if they were wearing one. I moved my shoulders around, trying to make the appearance of something on my back. It didn't work; those of us that were not wearing one were teased and laughed at.

I was only 11 years old; I did not need a bra yet. Being singled out was humiliating. Why did they have to draw attention to me? They were no better, yet they pointed out my differences and made me feel small.

I was called a Freckled-Face Strawberry-Head, Can Opener and Tin Grin. Did I cry about getting teased and picked on? Absolutely. Not being part of a group can be lonely. Getting tormented by mean girls was not fun; it was agonizing.

Even though we may not realize it, this type of action is a form of bullying. It shows no physical signs, but the mental anguish is there.

Why are some girls singled out to be picked on? This type of behavior is known as relational aggression.

Cheryl Dellasega, creator of ClubOphelia.com, says relational aggression is a way of inflicting damage on others without punches. "Instead, a female bully uses words, relationships, and behaviors as weapons against another girl."

Suzi Gregory, a third grade teacher in the Mead School District, says that she had seen the girl cliques when previously teaching sixth grade, but also sees it among younger girls. "Mean things are done to bring attention to differences," she says.

Gregory says that as early as the third grade, girls are exploring the idea of getting into groups. They create "pockets of controlling," such as "I won't be your friend if you don't do…"

How do you protect your children from being hurt and left out? How do you empower them so that they can handle ridicule?

Gregory notes that girls who keep themselves busy with athletics have not been as prone to being part of a mean-spirited group of girls. These athletic girls often have more self confidence and don't need the reinforcement of a clique.

Kathy Masarie of Full Esteem Ahead, a nonprofit parenting organization, offers these tips to help children who are being bullied:
•Know that it's not your fault and that you don't deserve it.
•Tell the bully to stop.
•Remove yourself from the situation.
•Get help from people you trust, a school counselor, babysitter or Mom or Dad.
•Hang out with people who let you be you.
•Use humor to deflect bullying.
•Don't become a bully yourself.

Mikayla Daniels, a Parents Council member, says "building up every girl's esteem (letting them know they are special and have something to offer the world) is what needs to be done …"

Did the tormenting I received as a child mold me into the person I am today? Maybe it did. Without realizing it at the time, it taught me to be strong, independent and to not fear what others think.

Girl cliques have been around for a long time and will most likely not go away.

The best defense is to arm your daughters with the courage to stand up, be strong and believe in themselves.

It's just good manners: Send a thank-you note (The Spokesman-Review)

Lisa Paolino
April 2, 2007

Taking time to write shows you care.

Recently, our 10-year-old son gave a birthday gift to a friend at school. By the end of the day, his friend had written a full-page thank-you note. It was impressive – full of appreciation and gratitude. It was done before any prompting from a parent and was a wonderful way to have our present received.

At an early age, kids can learn the value of showing appreciation for the kindness of others. Composing a thank-you letter shows gratitude and instills lifelong values of the importance of appreciating what others do for you.

Not only is a note a sign of gratitude for the gift, it allows the sender to know that it was received. In this age of online shopping, packages get lost. It is reassuring to know that a parcel actually arrived.

When should a thank-you note be sent? Donna Pilato, who writes about party planning, says in an article on About.com that thank-you notes are not required when a birthday gift is received and opened in the presence of the giver. But, she says, a thank you is appropriate when a gift is received in the mail.

For our children's birthdays, as the guests leave, the birthday child gives out the party gifts and says thank you to each parent and their child. For birthday parties that we have attended, some kids have sent a thank you in the form of a photo taken during the party. This is a great keepsake for a scrapbook.

Is it appropriate to send an e-mail? The Emily Post Institute says that sending an e-mail may be appropriate for someone who you have a casual relationship with and e-mail regularly. Yet for most people, "the written thank you is your best bet for an expression of warm heartfelt thanks."

What about a phone call? I asked 10 friends and acquaintances, most of whom said they prefer a written thank-you note. Spokane resident Frankie DeWitt, mother of three, grandmother of seven, says, "I treasure the thank-you notes that arrive in the mail. That tells me that the recipient of the gift appreciated the time I took to find/wrap/send a gift, so they take the time to thank me."

But others appreciate a phone call. Eric Toguchi, my son's fifth-grade teacher, prefers a phone call. "I think that in receiving a verbal 'thank you' the recipient can also convey their genuine sincere gratitude toward the sender. Plus, it also opens the opportunity for more conversation between the parties. Because of the great physical distance, my parents love receiving phone calls from my kids. Everyone can visit longer, tell longer stories, and convey a closeness that written communication can't extend."

Phone calls may be just fine for some close friends and relatives, if that's what they prefer. But if you aren't sure, it's probably a good idea to write a thank-you note.

Here are some pointers on helping your young ones to write thank you:
•Always engage children in the thanking process. For kids who cannot write yet, the parents can write a thank-you note and the kids can scribble on the page.

As kids learn to write, they can jot down the words "thank you" along with a picture and sign their name.

As age progresses, children can write their own sentences, adding more content to include how they will use the gift and current events in their lives.

•Make the letter-writing fun by using colored paper, crayons, markers and stickers. Let the children be expressive. Don't expect more than what is appropriate for their age. At a young age, there may be some misspellings. But think of the fun you'll have when their grandmother brings out a thank-you note at their graduation, written when they were 6 years old.

Writing thank-you notes is a lesson that can be learned early and will benefit your children throughout their lives. Hopefully, the values you have instilled in them while under your care will follow them as they venture out on their own.

Debate Over Lunch Break on the Menu (The Spokesman-Review)

Lisa Paolino
S-R Parents Council
February 19, 2007

Our son came home from school one day and announced, "We don't get seconds at lunch anymore!" Our first thought was that it must be related to budget cuts. Instead, we found out that the policy is intended to fight obesity.

"I'm going to toot our own horn," said Catherine Abbott, Food Service Director for the Mead School District. "We are the heroes of the school. Kids love to go to lunch." Abbott says that lunch time is a needed break from the study time of the day. Good nutrition is an important tool in helping students learn.

Abbott notes that their staff in the district work very hard to provide nutritious and delicious meals to their students. It's no wonder that kids want to have seconds and thirds at lunch. Yet according to the National School Lunch guidelines, having seconds can give the students more than the recommended daily amount of calories.

"As a teacher I have spent much time in the school lunch room," wrote a reader named Corina on the Parents Council blog. "Each kid is given the same amount of food and it is plenty for any kid. Majority of the students don't finish what they are given. Back in the day when they would receive seconds it would just be for the dessert (if there was one)."

"It must be nice to be able to go back for seconds," wrote parent Mark Utley on the blog. "In the schools my kids have attended, Cheney and Medical Lake, the children are given a very short amount of time to complete their meals. Several times my sons have said they have to rush to finish in time. Shoving food in their mouth as fast as they can is what creates obesity. Schools need to re-evaluate their lunch schedule and give the student enough time to properly eat their lunch, even if it means longer school day."

Utley has a point – the University of Rhode Island performed a study that showed that when people eat slowly, they will need fewer calories to feel full. In theory, eating quickly can lead to the consumption of more calories. When schools don't allow seconds, the students are being served the proper amount of calories to fulfill their nutritional needs whether they are eating fast or slow.

The Mead School District allows 20 minutes for lunch. The Cheney School District has an average of 20 minutes, while the Medical Lake School District ranges from 20 to 30 minutes for the lunch period.

Mead utilizes research done by the National Food Service Management Institute when determining the length of lunch times. The report, "Eating at School," was based on a study of 18 schools in four states, including Washington.

The study found that elementary students on average spent 10 to 14 minutes getting their lunch, eating, and then cleaning up, leaving 6 to 10 minutes for socializing in a 20-minute lunch period.

The research also showed that "the eating time for all students was very consistent. Socializing time appeared to change in direct relation to the amount of time allotted for the lunch period."

Abbott stresses that the healthy food served at school lunches are a benefit for paying parents because the meals are nutritious. Parents can feel good that their children are being provided with healthful food.

Dana Malone, a registered dietician, is a nutrition wellness consultant with the Mead School District and with other districts in the Spokane area. Malone, "Mrs. Nutrition," says that in the Mead elementary schools, the Nutrient Standard Menu Planning is used to develop school menus. It is a system that analyzes the nutrient content of food to meet nutrition standards.

"While we follow the guidelines, we also kick it up a notch and introduce new foods, including whole grains and a variety of interesting and different fruits and vegetables." Whole grains are brought in through avenues such as whole wheat hamburger buns and in the crusts of pizza. Malone calls it "subliminal nutrition."

"We love to have our children eat school breakfast and lunch," said Abbott. She notes that the Mead School District is taking part in the HealthierUS school challenge, which recognizes nutrition excellence in schools. It "encourages schools to go further and to recognize those who chose to do so."

Strikes Against Soda (The Spokesman-Review)

Lisa Paolino
S-R Parents Council
February 12, 2007

The next time you go to restock your refrigerator with soda, you may want to think again.

According to a recent article in the Washington Post: "For every can of soda your child drinks each day, their chances of being obese double. But the problem isn't just extra calories. A Harvard University study shows that the calories in soda don't register with the brain the same way other calories do. The brain doesn't get the message to stop eating. On average, that means kids consume the calories in the drink plus an extra 200 calories from other foods every day."

Besides obesity, drinking soda can deplete bones of calcium. The American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry states that, "As teenage girls have increased their consumption of soft drinks, their consumption of milk has decreased by 40 percent, which may contribute to a decrease in bone density, subsequent increase in fractures, and future risk of osteoporosis."

A third strike against soda is that it is a contributor to tooth decay.

Dr. Charles Toillion of The Children's Choice, a pediatric dental practice in Spokane, sees this every day. Dr. Toillion, fondly known by his patients as "Dr. Charlie," says that drinking soda is like "bathing your teeth in a solution that does nothing but break down your teeth."

Sugar causes cavities, but the acid in soda will erode the tooth enamel. Toillion notes that while the sugar content may be less in a diet soda, the acid in the soda is still bad for your teeth.

Carolyn Lamberson, a Parents Council member and S-R correspondent, says: "My husband and I do drink diet soda (and are trying to cut back) but we don't let our 2-year old daughter drink it. I attend a playgroup where one of the moms lets her 20-month old drink her soda all the time. 'It's OK,' she says. 'It's diet.' "

By choosing healthy food and drink and properly taking care of your teeth, tooth decay can be preventable, Dr. Charlie says. "It is unrealistic for people to give up soda. But you can limit the frequent exposure to soda. Don't let kids get a bottle of soda and sip on it all day."

He says that if you do drink soda, the best precaution against tooth decay is to drink some water afterwards. This will help to rinse out the sugar and acid contained in the drinks.

Another debate about kids and soda is whether to allow it in our schools. Andrew Garabedian, also a dentist at The Children's Choice, has concerns with teens and soda.

As kids grow older and become more independent, they start to make their own choices. If they were brought up drinking soda, their choice, when given the opportunity, is more apt to be soda, he says.

This type of habit is risky for tooth decay.

Keeping soda out of school is an issue that the AAPD has addressed with its policy on vending machines in schools. The purpose is "that targeted marketing and easy access to sweetened foods and beverages (acidulated carbonated and noncarbonated) by children and adolescents may increase the amount and frequency of their consumption, which, in turn, may contribute to an increase in caries risk and a negative influence on overall nutrition and health."

Parents need to set a good example by choosing a healthier drink than soda. Sodas are full of empty calories. The only thing they will do for you is take up space in your refrigerator.